I am reaching the end of a major weeding project at the library where I work. Most people think of weeding as the removal or pulling up of undesirable or unwanted plants in the yard or garden. But for those of us in the library world, weeding is the process of pulling outdated, unused, no longer needed books off the shelf.
I've been working in the reference section and it's been a walk through recent history. Most of the books that I'm weeding were used before there was such a thing as the Internet. You had massive collections of books on philosophy, religion, social movements, law, quotations, current author and newsworthy individual biographies, history, and countries of the world. It was sort of a "just in case" type of book inventory; you needed all of these materials in case a patron came in and wanted information pertaining to those fields. Now of course, anyone can search the Internet for information, however incredible the information may be.
Working through the collection, all the books and series published in the 70s, 80s, 90s, and beyond I can't help but remember what I was doing during those times-where I was working, what was going on in the world, what I thought I'd be doing in the future. Now I am in that future and looking back. I'm finding it hard not to mourn the loss of my youth, my innocence and my faith in the goodness of life. Everything seems so much darker now. Does everyone feel this way as they grow older? Does it help to be more successful, have more money?
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Writing a Woman's Life
I'm starting to read a new book today, Writing a Woman's Life by Carolyn G. Heilbrun. She writes that "Feminist ideology is another word for trying to understand in the life of a woman, the life of the mind [emphasis mine]" (p. 16).
Reading that sentence reminded me of a scene in A. S. Byatt's novel Still Life. Stephanie, Frederica's older sister who gave up a promising academic career to get married to an unconventional vicar, goes to the library to try to write. She spends the first half hour or so just trying to still the chaos in her head. She has to turn away from thoughts of chores, grocery lists, her children, etc. so that she may analyze a poem she was writing about before her life changed so drastically. She's just reached the point where she can begin to work when she realizes that her time is up. She only booked a babysitter for a couple of hours.
Reading that sentence reminded me of a scene in A. S. Byatt's novel Still Life. Stephanie, Frederica's older sister who gave up a promising academic career to get married to an unconventional vicar, goes to the library to try to write. She spends the first half hour or so just trying to still the chaos in her head. She has to turn away from thoughts of chores, grocery lists, her children, etc. so that she may analyze a poem she was writing about before her life changed so drastically. She's just reached the point where she can begin to work when she realizes that her time is up. She only booked a babysitter for a couple of hours.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
School's out for the summer
There are just a few students left in the library this evening, studying for that last final or finishing up that last paper. The medical students have one day of testing left.
As I walked around the campus during my dinner break, kids were loading up their cars for the trip back home. Saturday will be graduation day for all the seniors and graduate students.
Next week the campus will be a ghost town. The sidewalks will be empty. The local restaurants and coffee houses will be deserted.
Ahhh, summer! The time to recuperate from the frantic busyness of the school year. The time to slow down and savor the world.
Until the whirligig of time swings us back to a new school year.
As I walked around the campus during my dinner break, kids were loading up their cars for the trip back home. Saturday will be graduation day for all the seniors and graduate students.
Next week the campus will be a ghost town. The sidewalks will be empty. The local restaurants and coffee houses will be deserted.
Ahhh, summer! The time to recuperate from the frantic busyness of the school year. The time to slow down and savor the world.
Until the whirligig of time swings us back to a new school year.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Avoiding the pain of failure
I just had to check in two books that I’ve had for over a year and still haven’t finished reading! (or even tried reading for over a year!) I do this thing where I check out books on subjects that I’m interested in and I think that’s all I have to do. I don’t have to actually read them…Oh, no…I can get to the books' contents just by being near them—ha!
Anyway, one of the books is called Impro: Improvisation and the theater by Keith Johnstone (London: Faber and Faber, 1979). I read about it on one of the finance blogs I read, either Grow Rich Slowly or The Simple Dollar. The blog writer suggested the book for those of us who are socially inept through fear, self-consciousness, or by living too much inside our heads.
As I started reading it again this week an “aha!” moment hit me when I read Johnstone’s description of trying to get improv students to stop trying to control their own experience. He says that students who are afraid to fail have a tendency to try to get around having to do something instead of finding a way to do the thing they’re afraid to do. Johnstone calls this “avoiding the pain of failure” (p.31). He's observed two ways students try to avoid the pain: doing something half-heartedly in an attempt to gain sympathy in advance for failure, and ignoring what’s happening at the moment to try to anticipate and control their performance in the future.
I do both of these things all the time. I never realized that what I was doing was a kind of backwards coping strategy. I’ve written in my journal recently about how I tried to cope with working full time, going to library school and dealing with family problems by vegging out and watching movies all the time instead of doing my work. I really need to work out some better strategies for dealing with the challenges in my life.
Johnstone writes that he tells students that he, the teacher, is responsible for their success.
Anyway, one of the books is called Impro: Improvisation and the theater by Keith Johnstone (London: Faber and Faber, 1979). I read about it on one of the finance blogs I read, either Grow Rich Slowly or The Simple Dollar. The blog writer suggested the book for those of us who are socially inept through fear, self-consciousness, or by living too much inside our heads.
As I started reading it again this week an “aha!” moment hit me when I read Johnstone’s description of trying to get improv students to stop trying to control their own experience. He says that students who are afraid to fail have a tendency to try to get around having to do something instead of finding a way to do the thing they’re afraid to do. Johnstone calls this “avoiding the pain of failure” (p.31). He's observed two ways students try to avoid the pain: doing something half-heartedly in an attempt to gain sympathy in advance for failure, and ignoring what’s happening at the moment to try to anticipate and control their performance in the future.
I do both of these things all the time. I never realized that what I was doing was a kind of backwards coping strategy. I’ve written in my journal recently about how I tried to cope with working full time, going to library school and dealing with family problems by vegging out and watching movies all the time instead of doing my work. I really need to work out some better strategies for dealing with the challenges in my life.
Johnstone writes that he tells students that he, the teacher, is responsible for their success.
“In exchange for accepting the blame for failure, I ask the students to set themselves up in such a way that they’ll learn as quickly as possible. I’m teaching spontaneity, and therefore I tell them that they mustn’t try to control the future, or to ‘win’; and that they’re to have an empty head and just watch. When it’s their turn to take part they’re to come out and just do what they’re asked to, and see what happens. It’s this decision not to try and control the future which allows the students to be spontaneous. (p. 32).
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Our Bodies, Ourselves
It's taken me about a year but I'm finally on the last chapter of the book Our Bodies, Ourselves and the Work of Writing by Susan Wells. I enjoyed reading how the women of the Boston Women's Health Collective researched, wrote, illustrated and published the book on women's health in 1970. At the time it was a revolutionary act.
Wells' book talks about how the women even wrote collectively, taking care to create a unique voice that would not intimidate readers but instead encourage them to take charge of their own bodies and health.
But I kept stumbling over the word "metaleptic" in the text. I had to look it up every time I ran across it in my reading. I still don't think I understand what it means! Wells writes that
Wells' book talks about how the women even wrote collectively, taking care to create a unique voice that would not intimidate readers but instead encourage them to take charge of their own bodies and health.
But I kept stumbling over the word "metaleptic" in the text. I had to look it up every time I ran across it in my reading. I still don't think I understand what it means! Wells writes that
Traditionally, metalepsis was a figure in which a writer refers to something by naming an object only remotely related to it. For example, a lead-footed driver is one whose foot is heavy, or leaden, on the accelerator. But she uses the term in its rhetorical sense, i.e.
the figure of excess, of breaking frames (p.100).Wells is saying that by inserting themselves into the text of the book by way of personal stories and drawings, the writers of Our Bodies, Ourselves invite the reader into the book on a personal level as well. The desired result of this frame-breaking is the realization that
every woman [is] a potential writer, and that her body [is] a potential source of both medical knowledge and political enlightenment.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Decalogue
Well I'm about to finish watching the last three installments of Krzysztof Kieslowski's Decalogue. The film series was written and directed by Kieslowski and his frequent collaborator, Krzysztof Piesiewicz. The series was filmed in Poland during the eighties and is loosely organized around the theme of the Ten Commandments.
I first became interested in Kieslowski's work after seeing Three Colors: Blue, White, and Red. I remember the haunting music of Blue. It followed me on my trip to Paris later that year. I heard the music as I walked along the Rue Mouffetard, the street where Juliette Binoche's character lived in the film. I thought of the film White every time I rode on the Metro, and I couldn't help but think of the model in Red whenever I saw a large billboard or huge window display.
But what keeps me interested in Kieslowski films are the questions.
Why do we love? Why do we continue to love when our loved ones disappoint or hurt us? Do moral acts preserve us? Are we punished for immoral acts? (Or, in other words, does what goes around, come around?)
Hmmmm....
I first became interested in Kieslowski's work after seeing Three Colors: Blue, White, and Red. I remember the haunting music of Blue. It followed me on my trip to Paris later that year. I heard the music as I walked along the Rue Mouffetard, the street where Juliette Binoche's character lived in the film. I thought of the film White every time I rode on the Metro, and I couldn't help but think of the model in Red whenever I saw a large billboard or huge window display.
But what keeps me interested in Kieslowski films are the questions.
Why do we love? Why do we continue to love when our loved ones disappoint or hurt us? Do moral acts preserve us? Are we punished for immoral acts? (Or, in other words, does what goes around, come around?)
Hmmmm....
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Time to start writing again
Well it's been a long time since I last wrote. I've been catching up on all my mystery series reading: V is for Vengeance by Sue Grafton, Believing the Lie by Elizabeth George, and Breakdown by Sara Paretsky. In between I read the Hunger Games series, re-read some early Monk books by Anne Perry, and dipped into a few non-fiction books.
You'd think I'd have some profound insights to share. Or, at the very least, some comments or criticisms about the books. But I find that if I don't write about what I read, while I'm reading it, I don't know what I think about what I've read.
Perhaps that's why I've started reading Writing to Learn by William Zinsser. He says that the process of writing forces you to think. If your thinking is muddy, your writing will be unclear. You will need to revise and rewrite until your writing (and thinking) make sense!
You'd think I'd have some profound insights to share. Or, at the very least, some comments or criticisms about the books. But I find that if I don't write about what I read, while I'm reading it, I don't know what I think about what I've read.
Perhaps that's why I've started reading Writing to Learn by William Zinsser. He says that the process of writing forces you to think. If your thinking is muddy, your writing will be unclear. You will need to revise and rewrite until your writing (and thinking) make sense!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Authentic Happiness
I've been reading a lot about strengths and talents lately. I read StrengthsQuest by Donald O. Clifton and Edward "Chip" Anderson. I'm reading Authentic Happiness by Martin E. P. Seligman. What I've learned so far is that everyone of us has certain talents or predispositions, such as a love of learning new things or physical ability, that we may develop into strengths. Most folks intuitively know this but some of us seem unable or unwilling to do the work it takes to move from potential to mastery(Malcolm Gladwell's 10,000 hours anyone?).
For example, I've always loved to read and learn new things. I am able to organize information so that it may be more easily used. But I've never worked at reading, writing, and organizing so that I can work as a librarian instead of as a library assistant. I've always explained my failure to do so as fear of success, lack of social and study skills, laziness, etc. But I was struck by this passage in Authentic Happiness:
For example, I've always loved to read and learn new things. I am able to organize information so that it may be more easily used. But I've never worked at reading, writing, and organizing so that I can work as a librarian instead of as a library assistant. I've always explained my failure to do so as fear of success, lack of social and study skills, laziness, etc. But I was struck by this passage in Authentic Happiness:
It is not just positive feelings we want, we want to be entitled to our positive feelings. Yet we have invented myriad shortcuts to feeling good; drugs, chocolate, loveless sex, shopping, masturbation, and television are all examples...The belief that we can rely on shortcuts to happiness, joy, rapture, comfort, and ecstasy, rather than be entitled to these feelings by the exercise of personal strengths and virtues, leads to legions of people who in the middle of great wealth are starving spiritually. Positive emotion alienated from the exercise of character leads to emptiness, to inauthenticity, to depression, and, as we age, to the gnawing realization that we are fidgeting until we die.So I guess for me it is about laziness, i.e. wanting to take a shortcut to professionalism so that I don't have to do the hard work!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Therapeutic Writing
A while back someone turned in a book called Writing Routes: A Resource Handbook of Therapeutic Writing edited by Gillie Bolton, Victoria Field and Kate Thompson, with a Foreword by Gwyneth Lewis. I flipped through it and it looked interesting so I checked it out. There are chapters about using writing to figure out who you are, how you feel about yourself, your body, your relationships, and how to work through grief, loss, and other transitions. There's even a chapter on using writing to develop mindfulness.
A couple of the writers discuss how they came to write poems reflecting some memory or personal issue. For example, Rose Flint describes how she channeled her feelings of homesickness and depression from getting older into a poem called "The Blue Gate". The poem describes an encounter with "a Being walking across ice towards me- a Swan-Woman, old and wrinkled":
I am encouraged by the image of the old woman warming herself by her own action, i.e. striking the ice shards together and moving through the landscape. I also like the notion of the woman's swan-like ability to transform her self, to fly. If you like this poem you may want to check out Rose Flint's Nekyia (Flint 2003).
A couple of the writers discuss how they came to write poems reflecting some memory or personal issue. For example, Rose Flint describes how she channeled her feelings of homesickness and depression from getting older into a poem called "The Blue Gate". The poem describes an encounter with "a Being walking across ice towards me- a Swan-Woman, old and wrinkled":
Palms upward, she stretches her hands out towards me,(p. 105).
black bird-eyes intent.
She is holding pieces of ice and she strikes them together
slowly at first, then gathering speed
so they clash edgily, ring like bronze bells
over the ice-field: a call, a warning of breakage,
rupture, opening.
In the cold heart of her handfuls of ice
sparks flick scarlet snake-tongues that rise and grow,
so ice warms, whitefire on her palms, candles of crystal.
She draws the radiance into her body, lets it wander
the routes of her veins, the web of her cells
until she stands gilded, feathers on fire, sun in her skin.
Walking past me her feet melt bird-tracks on the snow.
She is going deeper, and at the point where distance
takes her, there is a spreading cloud of blue
I am encouraged by the image of the old woman warming herself by her own action, i.e. striking the ice shards together and moving through the landscape. I also like the notion of the woman's swan-like ability to transform her self, to fly. If you like this poem you may want to check out Rose Flint's Nekyia (Flint 2003).
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Biographies in Harry Potter
I'm continuing my build up to the last Harry Potter movie by writing about the biographies J. K. Rowling made up to flesh out the world of Harry Potter.
I'm probably stretching it a bit to call the works of Gilderoy Lockhart biographies but I don't think they can be classified as authoritative texts on the various creatures that he claims to have encountered (he swiped other people's work, wiped their memories, and passed off their experience as his own). Though I suppose if the folks whose memories he wiped were experts then their pirated work could be considered authoritative? But unless you know who they were how can you tell? The pirated works are: Break with a Banshee, Gadding with Ghouls, Holidays with Hags, Travels with Trolls, Voyages with Vampires, Wanderings with Werewolves, and Year with the Yeti (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets pp. 43-44). The sappy alliteration of these titles only reinforces my impression of the smarminess of Gilderoy Lockhart! And speaking of smarmy, how can I forget Lockhart's own memoir, Magical Me? (Ibid p. 58)
Rita Skeeter's works rate even lower than Gilderoy Lockhart's in terms of accuracy. I have no idea who Armando Dippet was or what he did to attract the attention of Skeeter's poison pen. Judging by the accuracy (!) of her stories about the Tri-Wizard Tournament, Rita Skeeter's Armando Dippet: Master or Moron (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows p. 252) may have been the first "tell all" work about a prominent wizard. Her book The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore (Ibid p. 22) is only the latest blob (or should I say lob?) of mud in a career of mud-slinging!
There are two other works that could be considered biographies as well. The first is Blood Brothers: My Life Amongst the Vampires by Eldred Worple, a former student of Horace Slughorn (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince p. 315). The second book may be a collection of biographies of former Hogwarts prefects in the guise of a self-help book. You may have guessed that this book, Prefects Who Gained Power, was a big hit with Percy Weasley (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets p. 58)!
I'm probably stretching it a bit to call the works of Gilderoy Lockhart biographies but I don't think they can be classified as authoritative texts on the various creatures that he claims to have encountered (he swiped other people's work, wiped their memories, and passed off their experience as his own). Though I suppose if the folks whose memories he wiped were experts then their pirated work could be considered authoritative? But unless you know who they were how can you tell? The pirated works are: Break with a Banshee, Gadding with Ghouls, Holidays with Hags, Travels with Trolls, Voyages with Vampires, Wanderings with Werewolves, and Year with the Yeti (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets pp. 43-44). The sappy alliteration of these titles only reinforces my impression of the smarminess of Gilderoy Lockhart! And speaking of smarmy, how can I forget Lockhart's own memoir, Magical Me? (Ibid p. 58)
Rita Skeeter's works rate even lower than Gilderoy Lockhart's in terms of accuracy. I have no idea who Armando Dippet was or what he did to attract the attention of Skeeter's poison pen. Judging by the accuracy (!) of her stories about the Tri-Wizard Tournament, Rita Skeeter's Armando Dippet: Master or Moron (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows p. 252) may have been the first "tell all" work about a prominent wizard. Her book The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore (Ibid p. 22) is only the latest blob (or should I say lob?) of mud in a career of mud-slinging!
There are two other works that could be considered biographies as well. The first is Blood Brothers: My Life Amongst the Vampires by Eldred Worple, a former student of Horace Slughorn (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince p. 315). The second book may be a collection of biographies of former Hogwarts prefects in the guise of a self-help book. You may have guessed that this book, Prefects Who Gained Power, was a big hit with Percy Weasley (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets p. 58)!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Cookbooks in Harry Potter
It's almost time for the last Harry Potter movie! I'm passing the time until the weekend looking at some of my favorite things about the books. Did you ever notice the titles of the books used in Harry Potter world? I didn't until I reread all of the books last year to get ready for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1. Some of my favorite book titles are in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Remember when Harry goes home with Ron for the first time? He looks around in wonder at the first wizard home he's ever been inside. The kitchen has a wooden table and chairs and a mantelpiece "stacked three deep" with books like "Charm Your Own Cheese, Enchantment in Baking, and One Minute Feasts-It's Magic!" (p. 34).
Now one of my least favorite chores is that I have to come up with a weekly meal plan and cook it! I would love to bake without heating up the kitchen in this hot, humid weather! How great would it be to forgo sharp cheddar cheese at 2.79 for 8 oz. and just make my own? What I wouldn't give to come home after work and whip up a tasty meal in minutes????
Now one of my least favorite chores is that I have to come up with a weekly meal plan and cook it! I would love to bake without heating up the kitchen in this hot, humid weather! How great would it be to forgo sharp cheddar cheese at 2.79 for 8 oz. and just make my own? What I wouldn't give to come home after work and whip up a tasty meal in minutes????
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Toughminded optimism
I like to read the Fixes column in the New York times. A week ago or so David Bornstein wrote a couple of columns about an organization called KaBOOM! that teaches people how to organize and raise money to build playgrounds. In the second part of the series, The Rewards of Renewal, he mentions the book Self-Renewal: the individual and the innovative society by John W. Gardner (find a copy at your local library here). I checked out the book and was inspired by what Gardner had to say about the qualities we need for self-renewal. He writes:
"First, I would stress the importance of a toughminded optimism. Both the toughmindedness and the optimism are immensely important. High hopes that are dashed by the first failure are precisely what we don't need. We need to believe in ourselves but not to believe that life is easy" (pp.xii-xiii).
"First, I would stress the importance of a toughminded optimism. Both the toughmindedness and the optimism are immensely important. High hopes that are dashed by the first failure are precisely what we don't need. We need to believe in ourselves but not to believe that life is easy" (pp.xii-xiii).
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